My name is Shelby. My ties with adoption are such huge blessings in my life. It has changed me into someone I never thought I would be, made me want to be better than I ever thought possible, and has helped me to see people in a whole new light. I started to consider placement when J’s birth father hadn’t contacted me after my first doctors appointment. I knew he was in trouble with the law and would probably be in jail soon if he wasn’t already. I knew that I didn’t want J to be around my father because of the hurtful things he had said to me when he found out. I was determined to not look at couples because if I didn’t, then I would “have” to parent. I thought since I was 21, that I was old enough (older than other girls who had chosen to parent) and I could do it on my own. I looked at profiles on LDFS and seriously went through almost all the couples. Something had stopped me on Danny and Emily’s profile. I don’t know what it was specifically, but I felt that I recognized them. This feeling I can’t describe as anything but a peaceful longing came over me. I started to read more about them and found out that Emily was also a birth mom. Little did I know that this would be one of the things that makes her my best friend. I kept reading and decided to email her. She literally emailed me back within 15 minutes. I was shocked but thought it was nice that someone finally responded to things as fast as I did. We emailed a few times and then started to text. And have talked every day since then. (so for almost a year) The first time I met them I felt like I was hanging out with my big brother and sister, we even went to a water park for the second time we hung out. It was a blast. I knew that they were the right fit for me and the baby and announced to them a couple weeks after our first meeting. Ultimately why I chose Emily and Danny to be J’s parents was because of how they were together. I could and can still see how much they love each other. I idolize their relationship I want one like theirs. Emily reminds me of myself. She has is a prime example of what life after placement or any hardship you come across can be. She is the person I look up to the most in this lil world. While J was in the N.C.U. for a week after she was born, Danny and Emily came up to see her and I was watching Danny hold her. And the way he looked at her and smiled and then looked at me and gave me this, “She’s perfect and you know that” smile. It brings tears to my eyes still thinking about it. After I signed the relinquishment papers and Emily came in, I handed J to her and she held J and grabbed me and gave me the strongest and longest hug I think I have ever received. (I always get the best ones from her).
When I was 21, I became pregnant by a man that I knew there would never be a healthy future with. Too get away from his influence, I moved out of state for the remainder of my pregnancy. I had my baby girl in August and I have been blessed with an amazing open adoption relationship. She will be 10 this year! When she was 3 is when my husband and I got married. We haven't tried preventing pregnancy throughout our now 6 years of marriage. We have had all the tests done, tried numerous fertility drugs/treatments and naturalpathic avenues such as reflexology and acupuncture. We stopped just short of doing IVF. For 4 years, I went through some of the most radical emotions and trials. My sweet husband by my side through it all. In the Spring of 2013, we actually took the steps of getting our adoption profile together. We had always considered adoption, and just felt that this was the right way to pursue our dreams of growing our family. Our profilio was published in late Summer on the internet through our agency. During the next 9 months, we were contacted by a total of 3 expectant moms. The 3rd one was our Shelby! When she contacted us, our case worker made it very clear that she was undecided. We were going to be the area anyway so we saw no harm in at least meeting her. She and I spoke practically every day since she first contacted us to when we meet which was April 22nd to May 16th. Even now, I don't think a day has gone by that we haven't communicated through on form or another. When we met S, it flowed so well, not awkward at all. We left that first meeting feeling at ease, there was no pressure on either of us and we knew she was still trying to figure things out. On June 2nd, we got this package in the mail that she had sent us announcing that she would like place with Danny and me! It was such awesome news! Things continued to go smooth as far as us building a relationship. She truly, has become one of my best friends. S called me the morning she went into labor and we headed down to Utah. We arrived pretty late at night and we didn't want to disturb any one so we just left things in S's court. She was going to call all the shots. The babe went to the NICU and was there for 6 days. This gave S time to really think out her thoughts and feelings. She LOVES baby J and the proof is spectacular. When placement happened, S said that the real deciding factor was my husband. S could provide everything in the Mom department, and she would be able to do it well. But she would not be able to fulfill that Dad spot. We have, what i feel, is a real strong relationship. If S needs anything, she knows that we will do our best to deliver. Nothing but love and admiration for her!